Addicted to You
by Cellar Door 26
Summary: And as all these moments swirled around in his head, as all these stolen kisses forced themselves to be remembered, Cooper stared at the woman he loved, as she stood underneath the mistletoe, beside him, a drink in her hand and his arm in the other. ViCoo


**Title**: Addicted to You  
**Disclaimer**: Neither Douglas Adams, Pirates of the Caribbean (try and catch where that comes in) nor Private Practice belongs to me. It is also very unlikely any of the three will in the near future.  
**Summary**: And as all these moments swirled around in his head, as all these stolen kisses forced themselves to be remembered, Cooper stared at the woman he loved, as she stood underneath the mistletoe, beside him, a drink in her hand and his arm in the other.  
**Notes:** This has been a long laborious act that started out because I was bored on Winter break and wanted to prove that I could go slow and out-write myself in length. I ended up with this.

Much thanks to **hyacinthian** for the beta. I'm surprised she didn't look at the length and scurry away.

(For clarity's sake, on Kiss #1, Cooper has the first line. #17, It's Violet. #18 Is by Violet. #26, Violet. 31, Violet. 35, well, It could go either way, couldn't it? You decide, 36 Cooper, and 41, Cooper.)

And, Enjoy!

* * *

_I have sought your nearness,  
With all my heart I have called out to You,  
And going out to meet You,  
I found You coming toward me._  
-Bachya Ibn Pakudah, 11th Century Spanish Poet

Cooper has an addiction.

A bad addiction.

The kind where you can't sleep at night (just look into the darkness or lit numbers on the clock and wishfully dream of what could be), can't eat properly (who can do something so contrive as eating while in this sort of turmoil?) can't function at optimum level (who cares?) until you get your fix.

Which Cooper hasn't gotten in a little over three weeks.

And standing right in front of his drug of (not)choice -who would choose this?- Coop wishes he were addicted to meth, or heroin, because the idea of giving up those drugs seem so much more manageable then passing by the opportunity going on right in front of him.

But like any addict, Cooper doesn't even try get out of this situation, he just stands there, staring, with the smile on his face like a condemned man who knows how his life was going to end (_A short drop and a sudden stop_) but can't make himself try to stop it and run.

Because this addiction, It's so deeply engrained in him, so close it's become friendly, an almost game (sick, revolting- never ending, when-do-I-get-off-the-ride?) quality to it; _Mr. Owl, How many kisses does it take until Violet realizes I'm in love with her?_

So far he's at forty-one and hasn't bitten into the chewy center, hasn't fallen over the edge, hasn't _lost_ and Violet still doesn't know of this addiction Cooper has. How he's been in love with her for years and to keep himself from blurting it out, to shake her until she realizes, to keep himself from committing emotional suicide, Cooper takes every opportunity possible to kiss his best friend. To lovingly, passionately, discreetly kiss his best friend.

More then ninety-eight percent of them have been without her consent.

This is also why ninety-eight percent of them have also been away from her lips.

It's the only part of this twisted ritual he has that doesn't make him feel like a total creep.

The first kiss they shared, the one that started off this whole addiction, it was wholesome, nice and purely by accident.

Unfortunately.

"_What? Stop giving me that crazy look for suggesting we try exercise once in awhile."_

"_It was warranted."_

"_Suggesting that taking a ten minute walk after lunch to get the blood pumpin' does not warrant that kind of look." _

"_Suggesting a fat pregnant woman go on a walk during her lunch break just so that you can buy a newspaper at Barnes n' Noble while 'casually' discussing my increased sex drive as a preggo so that the cute cashier will think you're a caring friend instead of a porn-addicted single- that warrants the look."_

"_Fake pregnancy equals fake fat, Vi. And you should have seen the look she gave me for my reading material. Would have put a Jewish mother to shame-"_

"_Oh boy."_

"_I know, just kept staring at me as I tried to read.. Didn't end up past the first page."_

"_Because the power went out."_

"_How did you.."_

"_Called me, remember? It was during a fight with Allan, and because of you-"_

"_Because you lost your train of thought-"_

"_I got stuck wearing this baby suit for a week just to 'see how it feels'. Honestly, does he think this will make me reconsider? Lugging around an extra forty pounds just so that-"_

"_As much as I would like to listen to this conversation over and over again, lunch time's a wastin' and I'd like to get a muffin on the way back."_

"_Oh, and have we decided I'm going to go?"_

"_Yes."_

"_Cocky."_

"_Filled with gratitude actually, but I can see how you can get the two confused._

_Need help up?"_

"No.

_Yes." _

_The problem with helping a very pregnant Violet out of her chair was that she actually needed the help. Because of Cooper's lack of knowledge about pregnant woman (well, helping them out of chairs) he didn't think past, 'oh this is Violet' and therefore under compensated, which earned him a very annoyed Violet. Not wanting what was left of her good mood spoiled, Cooper then overcompensated, and ended up with something unexpected happening- their lips touching. _

_With her added gravitational weight, Cooper found himself stumbling into Vi's office wall, and with their connective stance, she came right along with him. Head bashing into the wall, Violet's mouth opened into a call of concern when their lips stumbled more then landed on each other, but the force- the shock and then the abrupt end of such an unexpected kiss, it was devastating. _

_Less a moment later- no time to make sure the other ok, and then make jokes about what just happened, Naomi barged- feet just apart, bodies distanced, gazes glued together- in, insisting Cooper's help right. that. minute. So he left her, the fake pregnant woman, fake carrying another man's baby right in the middle of the room, eyes just closed and a hand to her face. To her lips. _

_Cooper kind of had the worst luck when it came to love._

The Second kiss passed more smoothly. More because Cooper did it entirely unconsciously and less with his state of mind.

_Violet was at his place because of a fight she'd just had with none other then Allan, and Cooper had spent the better part of _Sense and Sensibility _convincing Vi that she was a beautiful strong woman who shouldn't let anyone make her feel this bad. _

_Violet spent most of the movie crying and 'convincing' Cooper that it was because of Kate Winslet's acting. _

_Cooper wasn't buying it and told her straight out if was because of Alan Rickman's performance. _

_And while Violet laughed through her tears, Cooper patted her head and unconsciously kissed her temple. _

_It was only during the end credits while Violet was washing her face and getting ready to leave - to go home to Allan - that Coop remembered. _

_And the only time he smiled to her as she left him for Allan. _

Kisses three through sixteen were accomplished in Cooper's denial period. Denying the attraction he had for his best friend, denying the total hate Cooper had for Allan- just because he got to sleep in the same bed as Violet, got to make her food and show her how much he cared for her- denying the power Violet had over him. How every smile ensnarled him deeper and every time they met it made his senses tingle with her presence, how every conversation was now a battlefield over his heart and mind, his addiction and willpower, and more times then not, his addiction won.

Kiss number seventeen especially highlighted this fact.

"_I don't know if I can do this."_

"_C'mon, of course you can. It's helpful, it's therapeutic, you'd suggest it to your own patient, wouldn't you?"_

"_Well, yes."_

"_So."_

"_You're a bastard."_

"_Good."_

"_And a coward."_

"_Continue."_

"_And you're no good for me."_

"_That's it? Vi, you were married to the guy, for years, and tomorrow you're about to go into court, is this all you have to say to him?"_

"_Well, I'm drunk, and tired. Give me a break."_

"_You're drinking non-alcoholic beer." _

"_What was that?"_

"_Nothing, want another bottle?"_

"_You sure these things don't give you a hangover in the morning?"_

"_Positive."_

"_Ok, hand me another._

_Hey Coop?"_

"_Yes?"_

"_How come you're such a great friend?"_

"_Because you're drunk?"_

"_No seriously. How come you're so good to me?" _

"_I uh." _

"_I should've married you instead of Allan." _

_Those kind of phrases should not be uttered to a man with an addiction, especially since the utter-er was not actually drunk, and thusly could not feign mind-altering substances were the cause. This was entirely the cause for what happened next. _

"_Naw, he probably kisses better then I am._

_Ah, did I hear The Lady Violet just snort?"_

"_Never."_

"_Good, wouldn't want such an action to sully her good name."_

"_I know how we could find out."_

"_Find out what?"_

"_Who the better kisser is."_

"_Oh yeah?"_

"_You should kiss..."_

"_I should kiss?"_

"_Allan, kiss Allan and then tell me who the better kisser is!" _

_The battle going on in Cooper's mind had reached full force, and just when willpower was about to win out, Violet bobbing head, her vibrating body, the sound of her (not-so)drunken laughter flipped the switch and Cooper sinned. _

"_Why take my word for it?"_

_A gently impassioned kiss commenced, face framed by Cooper's strong hands as he took every emotion he felt for Violet (whether he knew about them or not) bubble out and be exposed. The taste of fake liquor on both their tongues met and bonded together for one mind-blowing kiss. _

_They still joke about it today, their accidental drunk kiss. _

_Except Cooper has never told Violet that they were never actually drunk, that she couldn't possibly not remember certain events of that night and that when their lips had parted Violet muttered a brief, "You'd win." that made Cooper's heart pound and mouth go dry. _

_It also made him stop drinking the fake beer after that, switching to apple juice (a terrible combination) because even the threat of that kiss being forgotten was terrifying. _

Kisses Eighteen to twenty-four justly expressed their growing intimacy, and most of them occurred while Violet was asleep.

"_An apology if you'd be so kind?" _

"_What?"_

"_Don't think I didn't notice."_

"_Notice what?"_

"_You thought I was asleep so you left."_

"_I got up to pee."_

'_Oh."_

"_Vi. I told you I'd stay the whole night."_

"_I know."_

"_So I will."_

"_Yeah well, sometimes Allan got up in the middle of the night when he thought I was asleep."_

"_Did you just compare me to Allan?" _

"_No, I used him as a reference."_

"_To the male species, because we're actually all the same."_

"_Cooper, I don't want to fight at three in the morning."_

"_Ah, so you'd rather we continue this in the morning-"_

"_Good night Cooper!"_

"_Good night Violet."_

_The uncomfortable chair wiping out any thought of sleep, Cooper stayed up the entire night, thoughts swirling around in his sleep deprived mind, all the while watching Violet sleep. He got up twice that night, once while the light started peering through the blinds, witnessing Cooper pull the covers tighter around Violet, brush some hair off her face, and place a kiss on her hairline. _

_It also noticed Violet open an eye as Cooper turned back to his chair._

_And have them both closed and breathing evenly when he was settled back comfortably and looking at her. _

So it was kiss number Twenty-six that happened the other way around.

"_Hey Pete, can you do that quieter?"_

"_What?"_

"_It's just that Cooper's napping, and he hasn't been sleeping well lately._

_What, what was that look for?"_

"_Nothing. I just didn't know you two were that kind of friends."_

"_And what kind of friend is that, Pete?"_

"_The kind that knows each others sleeping patterns._

_It shows a certain level of friendship that I hadn't thought you two hadn't attained yet._

_Ok, I'll be in my office then._

_Bye."_

"_Jackass."_

_A weight on the couch. The couch Coop was currently using to sleep on. It was now being used for Violet's peering powers. She was looking with a motherly type of affection and running her fingers through his hair that decidedly was not motherly. A knock on the door, a patient was coming, _

"_Coop?" _

_Oh but she hated to wake him up, not when he looked like he did._

_An opened door, had people lost all patience?_

"_Sorry Ms. Dorris, but my room is being used at the moment, if you could wait one minute, I'll just take you to a vacant room."_

"_Oh, well, alright."_

"_Great, just hold on, I'll grab your file."_

_A folder was grabbed, the lamp turned off, and then a quick pace to the couch, a bend at the knees, straightened with a shake at the head, once more bent, and an almost indifferent kiss on the cheek (that betrayed more then a wet one on the mouth), a murmured, 'sleep well' and Vi was out the door, ushering her patient to Cooper's office. _

_Cooper smiled in his sleep, only vaguely aware of what had happened. _

Kisses twenty-seven to thirty-nine were proof of how far gone Cooper had gone into this addiction, and how willing he was to get his fix.

Kisses number thirty-one, thirty-five and thirty-six especially prove this point.

"_You're stupid."  
_

"_Good to see you too Violet."_

"_Her name was Jane, not Olivia. I've only known her for twenty minutes and yet I somehow managed to retain that fact."_

"_Well that's because you're perfect. But us mere mortals tend to make mistakes."_

"_Coop."_

"_Olivia."_

"_Not funny."_

"_Hm, I'm stupid and not funny, let's see how many more titles I can get tonight."_

"_How about the guy who passed out on the porch after ten beers."_

"_Please, I'm on my seventh."_

"_I'm worried about you."_

"_I'm ok."_

"_You don't sound ok, and you haven't been acting ok."_

"_Shows what a great therapist you are." _

"_You are so drunk."_

_The thing was, Cooper wasn't that drunk, he was just lonely and in need of a fix. And lonely people do crazy things to get their fixes. _

"_How drunk?"_

"_Well by the smell of your breath-" _

_Lips cut her off. Cooper's lips. A touch chapped, a bit dry, but with more softness than seemed possible, it made her gasp and then the kiss was taken to an entirely new level. Cooper, the video game king, liked new levels. And devoured this one with the excitement of a kid who'd just been given a cheat into the forbidden forest in a really cool videogame. _

_Violet reacted the way someone does when their best friend drunkenly kisses them and is in too much shock to not kiss back. _

"_Cooper?"_

"_Yeah Olivia?"_

"_How many drinks have you had tonight?"_

"_I lost count."_

"_Right then, let's get you home." _

"_Sex is a-"_

"_-perfectly natural experience-"_

"_-that two consenting mature adults-"_

"_-perform-"_

"_-when they're in love-"_

"_-and want to express that love."_

"_And someone your age shouldn't be even thinking about it."_

"_Oookkkaaaaaay, but I just wanted to know why you two were kissing."_

"_A bet."_

"_A bet?"_

"_I dared them that they couldn't do it because Uncle Cooper called Violet gross with pudding in her hair."_

"_It was Tapioca."_

"_Ok Derek, why don't you go take your sister into the other room and watch TV while Violet and I clean up this mess?_

"_Ok, c'mon Tabitha!"_

"_Cooper?"_

"_It was a matter of principle to take that bet Vi."_

"_Yeah but.."_

"_And I did what I had to win. _

_Don't worry, I still think you're gross."_

_Cooper then spent three washing machine cycles trying to get tapioca pudding out of his blue shirt. _

_It only sort of worked. _

_But was entirely worth it. _

"_What the ever."_

"_Oh, so now you're a teenager?"_

"_Yes, if that means I don't have to stay after work today then I'm Britney Freaking Spears."_

"_Ah, but what about those hormones?"_

"_Violet, could you please explain to Naomi why I'm busy after work and can't stay late?_

_You know, that thing we're doing?_

_That thing that involves the blue tarp?"_

"_Oh, right. I need help with my… .. … …rain gutters! They keep break- filling up- getting stuffed with the pine needles from the tree next door. I've been bothering Cooper about it for weeks and he told me he'd do it tonight. No! I mean, after work today. I need it done right after work."_

"_Oh really?"_

"_Yes,, really. Honestly, very badly, it needs to get done."_

"_All right then, I'll ask Pete then, I guess."_

"_Violet."_

"_What? Your hand signals were way off and how was I supposed to come up with something urgent using a blue tarp?"_

"_You're a genius!" _

_A quick spin out of his chair and Cooper grabbed Violet's neck, bringing her face next to his and a quick peck on the cheek later, _

"_I'll repay you for this."_

"_Great, you can clean my rain gutters for real. They're in a desperate need."_

_The truth was this; Cooper wasn't doing anything after work on this fine day, he just saw Violet walking past and felt a desperate need to kiss her. The only thing missing was a reason he could use. It seemed to Cooper cleaning her rain gutters for the price of that kiss was well worth it.  
_

Kiss number forty-one, the last kiss he'd had with Violet in a little over three weeks, would be wholly boring and without importance- save for the one fact that it was with her.

"_Look, I said I was sorry, didn't I?"_

"_Why weren't you looking where you were going?"_

"_I was Vi, I swear. I just got distracted and wasn't paying attention."_

"_Obviously."_

"_It's not like I got up this morning and decided to give my best friend a bloody nose."_

"_You're lucky it's not bleeding."_

"_I know." _

"_And it still hurts." _

_Those words, the meaning and small scrunch of her face as she spoke, so as to not damage the appendage it further, that was why he did what he did. _

"_Kiss to make it better?"_

_And he kissed her lightly, delicately, softly, right on the bulbous point of her nose. _

_Vi found herself able to tell the truth when Cooper asked, _

"_All better?"_

"I guess." Well, most of the truth.  


And as all these moments swirled around in his head, as all these stolen kisses forced themselves to be remembered, Cooper stared at the woman he loved, as she stood underneath the mistletoe, beside him, a drink in her hand and his arm in the other.

It was entirely for her that he was here, at Allan's Christmas party, because she had too much pride not to go.

He was here for the entirely opposite reason.

It was Violet who knew all these people – not him.

It was Violet who cared about what they thought - not him.

It was Violet who wanted all to see that she was so over Allan she could go to his Christmas party and not end up totally drunk/making out in a corner with some random guy/crying and or getting in a huge fight with Allan.

It was Cooper who came along to make sure Violet didn't do any of the aforementioned things.

But the reason for their coming didn't matter at this moment. Just the now.

Now they were standing under the mistletoe. Now Violet was just a bit tipsy. On real alcoholic beer. And Cooper's will power was being slashed to bits by the look of Violet so happy, so beautiful, so alive.

He leaned in,

"We're under the mistletoe." Her words were so playful and sincere, it made Cooper feel like a jackass for the mere though to of kissing her without permission.

"Are we?" And then lying about it afterwards.

"We are." I twinkle in the eye, "Do you know what people are supposed to do under mistletoe?"

"I have a vague recollection of it."

"Good. Because we're standing in an open doorway and people may need to get through at any second."

"Right, but-"

"Oh for goodnasake." And Violet threw open her arms, surrounding him with herself, and kissing him straight on the mouth.

Cooper's first thought was that she caught him off mid-sentence, and he was going to say something really clever. His second thought was to wonder where her glass had gone (on the table beside them a few moments before) and the third was that this was a real kiss.

Not the Ick-Underneath-Mistletoe-Make-It-Fast kind of kiss. But passionate and real. A leaving no space between them, tongue in others mouth, for lack of a better word making-out kind of kiss.

Cooper had never loved Christmas more.

When they parted, bodies strung together, breathing harsh, foreheads touching, Violet asked a question,

"So does it feel like your stomach is turned inside out, doing cartwheels and you can't quite breathe?" It was such an odd question Cooper answered straight away.

"Yes."

"Good."

"Good?"

"It's the same feeling you've been giving me whenever we're accidentally kissed." The 'accident' in that sentence made Cooper laugh.

"They haven't been accidents."

"No?" Spoken like a woman who knew better but was being kind,

"Not so much."

"Well, it's understandable, they're addicting." A smile graced Cooper's face that had nothing to do with his earlier chuckle. Did someone finally understand his addiction?

To make sure Cooper kissed Violet with the vigor and passion one would expect a man to act like when it turned out his addiction- to the love of life- was actually an ok, slightly infatuated, perfectly normal liking.

"forty-two."

"What?" There was a person trying to get through the doorway, but when he saw the swirling pair, who danced to no music commoners could hear, when he saw the way they clung to each other, he decided to go through another route.

"That's how many kisses we've shared."

"Hmm." What Violet meant to say was _'you've counted?'_ but that required too many syllables, and Vi had just experienced a major mouth workout.

"What's the hmm for?" Cooper's question forced Violet's brain to work, and she was instantly reminded of a book (really a series of books) by Douglas Adams.

"Did you know the answer to the meaning of life is 42?"

"Nerd."

"Addict."

"And you love it."

"Maybe so." And just to prove his liking to this addiction, Cooper bit into the chewy center, dove over the edge and _won_.

THE end.

P.S. Any and all mistakes (spelling or otherwise) found, yeah please review and tell me. Otherwise, just review, and tell me your most favorite/least favorite (omigod-how-could-she-type-that-and-think-it-funny?!) parts.


End file.
